Calculated Love
by MidnightBlueMoon179
Summary: A love story that starts off with heartbreak...that's all I've got.
1. Chapter 1

"K-Karou? Where are you going?"

I flinched as I heard my brother's half-asleep voice behind me. I turned around slowly.

He rubbed his eyes before looking at me. He looked at the box I was carrying and the suitcase I was pulling.

"You could have told me you were going on a trip." he replied, not understanding what was happening...or at least, pretending to not understand.

"I-I'm not." I answered.

He shifted around uncomfortably. "Then why do you have that stuff?"

I bowed my head, unable to look at my brother's face. "You know why..."

"K-Karou..." he started towards me.

"Stop." I said while backing away. "Please, just stop."

"But Karou-"

"No Hikaru. Just go get back in bed with Harhui."

Realization finally struck him. He knew why I was leaving. "Please Karou." he begged. "Please don't leave. I'll end it with Harhui. It'll be you and me, just like before."

I chuckled slightly as I remembered how we used to be. It was me and him against the world. No person and no thing could every separate us. And we wouldn't have ever dreamed of letting any body...but that ended a long time ago.

I closed my eyes as I felt a tear roll down my cheek. "We can't go back to the way things were...and I can't ask you to leave her. That would be cruel."

"And this isn't?" he started. "Leaving in the middle of the night while I was sleeping. After all we've been threw, I wouldn't have even gotten a good bye?"

I sniffled slightly. "After all we've been threw, I know you wouldn't have let me say good bye."

We stood there in silence for a while. Nobody moving, both of us barely breathing.

"So this is it? This is how we come to an end? I thought it was supposed to be you and me against the world? Whatever happened to that?" he asked, voice getting slightly louder.

I winced as I recalled what he was talking about. I childhood pinky promise we made.

_We watched from our place on the bench as two friends fault over a girl with long black hair._

_"Hikaru?" I said, looking at my brother._

_"Yea Karou?" he asked while looking back at me._

_"We'll never get in fights like that, will we?" I asked._

_"Of course not." he replied._

_"You promise?" I questioned._

_"Pinky promise." he said while holding out his pinky._

_I smiled and wrapped my pinky around his._

_"It's you and me against the world Karou, and that's how it'll be for the rest of our life."_

I sighed contently.

I smiled gently as I remembered the event, but my smile soon faded when I remembered what was happening.

I sighed before speaking. "Things change Hikaru...people change. They grow up...and they grow apart."

"But not us, we're better then regular people. We can still be the way we were." he tried to reason.

I shook my head before looking up into his tear stained eyes. "No we can't Hikaru."

"Why are you fighting me so much?" he asked/yelled.

"Because I know that even if I do stay, even if you do leave Harhui, nothing will change. I'm still gonna be in love with you and you're still gonna be in love with her...all that will do is hurt you. And I know it doesn't seem like I right now, but I don't wanna hurt you."

"Kar-"

"Please stop. Stop making this harder then it has to be." I begged.

"But Kar-"

"Please." I begged with tear-filled, red eyes.

He looked like he wanted to say something, but decided against it when he saw the desperation in my eyes. His head dropped.

I sat the box I was holding, on my suitcase before walking over to him.

I wrapped my arms around his frame and held him close to me. I tried my best to hold back tears, as my brother cried on my shoulder. I pulled him back and looked at him.

"I know it doesn't seem like it, but this really is for the best." I told him before pressing a kiss on his forehead and letting him go.

I walked back over to my stuff and picked up the box again.

I turned around and gave Hikaru a sad smile. "Bye Hikaru."

"Bye Karou." he waved sadly.

I turned back around and grabbed my suitcase. I pulled it off the ground and closed the door behind me. I walked down the long hallway to the elevator and pressed the down button. When the elevator arrived, I pulled my suitcase on it and pressed the button for the garage.

I waited for the doors to close before sliding down the back wall, tears streaming down my face.

I stayed like that for a while, tears falling down my pale skin, before getting up and wiping my eyes before the doors reopened.

I walked threw the dark lower level to my car, finishing my keys out of my pocket and opening the trunk.

I threw my stuff in and closed the trunk before opening the door. I looked over at the two cars next to me. The one next to mine was Harhui's. The one after that was Hikaru's. I looked down and sniffled.

I didn't want to go. I wanted to stay with my brother...my best friend...my lover. But I knew I couldn't. He didn't want me, but he just couldn't admit it. And I couldn't take it any more...watching him and Haruhi from the sidelines. It hurt. And though I really didn't want to, I knew I had to. I had to leave my twin and let him enjoy the rest of his life, without having to protect me. And through I know it's the right decision, for both his and my happiness, I can't help the burning pain in my chest right now, that's telling me to run back to him. That's telling me to apologize for putting him threw this pain, even for a few minutes. That's telling me to run back and kiss him, like that would somehow make everything better...

But I knew it wouldn't.

So I climbed in my car, eyes blurred from all the tears, and drove as fast as I could out of the building and to someone's house. Someone I knew could lessen the pain.

**A/N: End of part 1/3. Hope you enjoyed it.**


	2. Chapter 2

I pulled up in front of the house and turned the car off. I got out and walked to the door. I pressed the bell and watched as one of the upstairs lights turned on. I waited nervously, not entirely sure what to expect.

When the door opened and I saw the familiar mop of pitch black hair, I relaxed slightly.

"Kaoru? What are you doing here?" he asked while rubbing his eyes.

"Umm...something happened...c-can I come in?." I asked while looking down and rubbing my arm nervously.

"Umm...sure." he said after thinking for a moment.

"Thanks."

_***Mini Time Skip***_

"So what happened with you and Hikaru?" Kyoya asked as he handed me a cup of coffee and sat next to me on the couch.

"Why do you assume something happened between us?" I questioned.

"Multiple reasons, the largest one being that you came to me, rather than him." he replied.

I looked down at my cup before speaking. "I left."

"Because of Harhui?" he said.

"Partially." I replied.

I looked up and he arched an eyebrow.

I sighed. "Harhui represented the growing space between me and Hikaru. I eventually decided that is was best to just let go." I explained.

"But you didn't want to."

I shook my head. "No. And he didn't want me to. But I knew it was for the best."

"So how'd Hikaru take it?"

"He tried to get me to stay but he realized that it hurt me to stay so...he let me go." I replied while looking down.

"Hmm..." he replied while nodding.

"So...I need a place to stay for a while and I wanted to know if I could stay here?" I said hopefully.

"Sure."

"Kyoya sempai, it won't be for long, just until-...wait...did you say sure?" I asked, not sure if I heard correctly.

"Yes."

"No argument or anything...just sure?" I said.

"Yes."

"...okay, what's the catch?"

"What are you talking about?"

"You're Kyoya Ootori. You don't don't do things unless you get something out of them. So what do you want? Info? Money? For someone to disappear?" I questioned with a raised eyebrow.

"No, no, and no." he replied.

"Then what do you want?" I asked.

"Nothing. Despite popular belief, I do do things that don't benefit myself...all the time." he finished.

"Uh huh..." I replied, not fully believing him. "Well I'm feeling tired, gonna go get some clothes out of the car." I said as I got up.

"No need. Just borrow some of mine." he said, getting up as well.

"..." I looked at him.

"You'll of course pay for their cleaning afterwards." he finished, giving me his infamous smirk and heading towards the stairs.

I nodded. "That's the Kyoya I know." I said as he lead the way to his bedroom.

I heard him chuckle as we walked.

_***Time Skip***_

"K-Kyoya sempai?" I asked nervously as I poked my head in his room.

He looked up from whatever his was writing in his black book and gave me a questioning look.

"Umm...I wanted to know if I could maybe sleep in your bed? I usually sleep with Hikaru, but Harhui recently took that spot...but even then, we still shared a room." I said while looking down and expecting a no in reply.

"Well sleeping in the bed with me is out of the question, but you can stay in the room." He said while closing his book.

I looked up in surprise. "Really?"

"For the time being, yes." he replied while pushing up his glasses.

"Thank you Kyoya sempai." I said as I laid on the couch in the room.

_***Dream Sequence***_

_"Kaoru!"_

_I looked around the white room seeing nothing, but hearing my brother call me._

_"H-Hikaru?" I called, trying to locate the voice._

_"Kaoru, why?" he asked in a sad voice, still not showing him self._

_"Why what?" I asked while walking over to one of the walls and trying to feel for a door._

_"Why'd you leave me? Why did you break your promise?" he asked._

_I froze. "...I didn't."_

_"Yes you did!" he yelled._

_"No I didn't. You broke it!" I yelled back._

_"Why didn't you come talk to me?"_

_"About what? And how would that conversation gone anyways? 'Hikaru, I don't want you to be in love with Haruhi. I want you to love me, even though we're brothers and you're straight.' Huh? Is that what you wanted?" I yelled._

_He didn't respond._

_I got angry and moved away from the wall, back to the center of the room._

_"Don't leave now that things aren't going your way!" I yelled._

_I still received no reply._

_"Hikaru...Hikaru...Hikaru!...Hikaru answer me! You owe me that much!" I yelled._

_He still didn't respond._

_"So you're just gonna leave? You're just gonna abandon? Or are you gonna give me brief shimmers of hope, and make me think that I have a chance of making things go back to the way they were, all the while knowing things can never go back to the way they were?" I yelled while falling to my knees._

_"Is that what you want? To torture me with what I want, but know I can never have again? Are you just doing this to be cruel? Are you trying to hurt me?" I yelled as I dropped my head and felt tears running down the expanse of pale skin that made up my face._

_I stayed like that for a while. Crying and shaking on my hands and knees, waiting for a response that I knew I wasn't going to receive. _

_"Kaoru..."_

_I looked up, hearing a voice softly calling my name._

_"Hikaru...?" I called softly, my voice horse from crying._

_"Kaoru." they called again._

_I looked around, but still saw nothing other then the white walls._

_"Kaoru..."_

_***Ending Dream Sequence***_

**A/N- End of part 2/3. The next and last part will be up soon.**


	3. Chapter 3

"Kaoru. Kaoru, wake up..."

I woke up to the sound of Kyoya's voice and him shaking me lightly, trying to pull me out of my dreams.

"K-Kyoya?" I called groggily, rubbing my eyes slightly as I sat up.

"Yes Kaoru?" he replied.

"Why did you wake me up?" I asked.

He moved a hand to my hair and started stroking it. "I thought you were having a nightmare. You kept yelling and tossing and turning." he replied.

"Oh...sorry." I replied, face flushing lightly.

"It's no problem." he answered.

I looked down, finally noticing that Kyoya and I were in what someone could call an intimate position.

I was laying on the couch, propped up slightly because I was leaning on my elbow. My knees were bent slightly, my face flushed lightly and eyes adverted in embarrassment. Kyoya was leant over the upper half of my body, stroking my hair affectionately.

"Kaoru." he started, interrupting my thoughts.

I looked up, blinking. "Yes Kyoya sempai?" I asked, giving him my attention.

"Don't get upset with me for what I'm about to do." he answered.

I tilted my head. "What are you-" I started, being cut off by Kyoya's lips meeting mine.

I gasped slightly, eyes widening as he slipped his tongue between my lips.

But despite my shock, I found my arms slipping around his neck, pulling him closer.

I pulled him closer, my tongue gently fighting with his as we started as slow decent down to the couch, with him laying on top of me.

We stayed like that, tongues moving in sync, arms wrapped around one another, in our own world of late night affection.

Kyoya was the one to break the kiss, pecking me briefly after before pulling away.

I opened my eyes and saw him looking at me, a rare but gentle smile on his lips.

I blinked at him, face showing slight confusion.

"Kaoru, I know this is all quite sudden, and that now isn't the best time to bring this up, but I think there's a good chance that I love you." he said.

He spoke clearly and slowly, but they all got muddled together in my mind. The only part that rang bells in my mind were "I love you."

"S-since when?" I asked, not sure how to respond.

He stroked my hair. "For quite a while now. To be more accurate, about a month before Hikaru and Haruhi started dating." he replied.

I searched threw my memory, trying to recalled when Hikaru and Haruhi made it official.

"...7 months." I said, recalling the month and adding one more to it. "You've loved me for 7 months?" I questioned, looking at the slightly older man.

"Approximately." he replied, gentle smile still on his lips.

"W-why haven't you said anything? Why didn't you tell me?" I asked.

"Because, you were still in love with Hikaru. You still are now. But now I have more chance since you've realized something." he replied.

I rubbed my arm nervously. "And what might that be?"

He brushed a stray strand of hair off of my forehead before cupping my cheek in his hand, staring into my eyes.

"That despite how much you want Hikaru, he doesn't want you the same way."

I lowered my eyes, saddened by his words.

But despite how sad they might make me...they're true. The fact of the matter is that Hikaru doesn't love me the way I love him.

"I...I know." I said, finally forcing myself to accept the truth.

"But I can make it better." he said while lifting my face. "I can make the pain go away." he said while pushing a strand of loose hair out of my face.

I looked at him for a second before hesitantly cupping his cheek and leaning closer to him, until our lips finally met.

I smiled lightly as his fingers found their way into my hair and pulled me closer, tongue finding its way into my mouth, gaining dominance over my tongue and mapping out the inside of my mouth.

I gasped into the kiss as one of his hands slipped under my shirt and teased my nipple. He hand was warm and his fingers made precise movements, trying to see what would cause the reaction he like best.

I whimpered in loss as he pulled both his lips and his fingers away. I shuddered lightly as he licked the shell of my ear before speaking.

"Kaoru, will allow me to show you how much I care for you?" he asked before moving his lips to my neck, planting small butterfly kisses on the exposed skin.

I nodded lightly while wrapping my arms around his neck. "Yes Kyoya sempai."

**A/N- Last part. I'm considering writing an epilogue to this, but I'm not too sure. Tell me if you'd like an epilogue or not. Hoped you enjoyed!**


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